I’ve never been

I’ve never been
good at letting go
or letting things flow
so when you asked me
to trust you
my mind went down
a black hole
of early deaths
and heartbreaks
depression and defeats
I couldn’t hear your speech
but I felt your hand
in mine
you reminded me
to breathe
“I’m sorry… I don’t know
what happened
I’ve never been…”
“ok
it’s ok...
you don’t need to explain.”
you still held my hand
and blessed it
with your lips
I fell asleep in your arms
and woke up to you
again
and again
and again
until I forgot what
I’ve never been